Ghost workers, strippers and dead eagles: just another day at customs - Sydney Morning Herald

Customs officer: 'worst job in Australia". Photo: Supplied

In early 2010, a customs official trying to cheer himself up at work entered an external competition to find the ''worst job in Australia''. Unwisely, he attached a photo of himself in customs uniform.

Shortly after, previously secret customs files note that he has ''withdrawn from the competition'' - no doubt with firm encouragement from his higher-ups.

Mingled among the gravest allegations of corruption and collusion are plenty of other quirky misdeeds recorded in the internal log of complaints against officers from 2007 to 2010, released to Fairfax Media after a two-year freedom of information battle.

In South Australia, another hapless customs worker was pinged for creating ghost workers to stop his office from being downsized before an audit. He was caught ''placing computers and other items at vacant workstations in the SA office in order to make it [look] like people occupied those areas''.

In balmy Mackay, in Queensland, the crew of a customs vessel tied up at the marina during the 2007 Christmas season put on a party with a difference. According to the previously secret documents, the crew invited a couple of special guests on board - two women from the local strip club who, according to a complainant, ''had sex with the customs crew''. Five months later, the overworked internal investigation unit was still trying to get to the bottom of the affair and drew up an investigation plan. ''Liaise with bar owner'', it said. ''Obtain statements from girls. Obtain crew list for Dec 07-Jan 08.'' The complaint was eventually logged as unsubstantiated, on the basis of lack of evidence.

In 2009, a disgruntled lover complained that he had been dumped by his fiance after a customs officer leaked his criminal history.

In February 2010, it was alleged four customs officers in the NSW cargo division were covering for each other to take trips to the shops, gamble and ''take hours of sleep in their cars''. The case was closed a month later with a note saying the paperwork had been sent off to the ''minor case'' file.

In Canberra, police were called to a car parked at the local pool, which had two dead wedge-tailed eagles on board. The car belonged to a customs officer but the incident was referred only for ''administrative action''.

The files also record more than a dozen separate complaints of Australian soldiers bringing unusual souvenirs such as weapons and absinthe into the country.

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