Former Wallaby David Giffin and his son Joe, 10. Picture: Adam Taylor Source: The Daily Telegraph
HE played 50 Tests for the Wallabies and hundreds of professional games against the most brutal players around the globe, but David Giffin didn't know pain until he was in a doctor's office with his young son eight years ago.
Nothing could prepare this 198cm, 110kg giant for the crippling blow of being told his first child had cancer.
Joseph Giffin, now 10, has overcome a remarkable ordeal to declare that he intends to become an architect, or "play for the Wallabies", neither of which should pose many problems for someone so strong.
"It was terrible, we nearly lost him a few times," mother Kris said.
"There was one particular time they told us there was only a 5 per cent chance he would make it through the day.
"I just wanted him to open his eyes, just one more time, to speak to him. He somehow got through it."
It began with a common complaint for parents of a toddler.
"He wouldn't sleep, we'd put him in his room and he would just be back time and again," Giffin says.
"We were living in Canberra, I had just announced that I was retiring, we were getting ready to go overseas for a while, life was good.
"Eddie Jones had asked me to be his assistant coach for the Wallabies, I was going to go on the (2004) end of year tour with them.
"But Joe wouldn't sleep. For nights on end he would be awake.
"We went to see Dr Cameron Webber, who had done some work with the Brumbies, and told him about what was going on with Joe.
"Just before we were leaving he got him up and examined him, started pressing around his stomach. His face changed immediately.
"He'd found a mass in his stomach the size of a rockmelon. We immediately went to the hospital.
"It is genuinely life-changing to be told your child has a very serious form of cancer."
Soon the couple was told Joe suffered from a rare type of cancer, neuroblastoma.
"I felt like I was going to be sick, like the world had closed on me," Kris said.
"You hear the word cancer and you immediately think the worst.
"We had been controlled crying him for hours. I felt so guilty."
And then began a tumultuous ride that saw the family relocate to Sydney within three days and live the following three years in agony.
"He had chemo, started with stage three treatment," Giffin said.
"We had the tests come back and it said there was a high chance of a relapse, so he went to stage four for six months.
"He didn't eat a meal for those six months. He had all these tubes in him, he was being fed through one. He had so much chemo going into him, he was so sick that he'd vomit all the time."
David and Kris Giffin with their children Joe (10), Samuel (9), Ella (5) and Juliet (2). Picture: Adam Taylor Source: The Daily Telegraph
That's when the rugby family came together. Giffin's former Wallaby teammate Joe Roff and his wife dedicated much of their time to looking after their younger son Sam while the Giffins were at hospital caring for Joe.
And after they'd just arrived in Sydney from Canberra and were renting above a pub, the sister of former Wallaby Owen Finegan - who they had never met - moved out of her house for a month so the Giffins had some decent accommodation while looking for their own place. But worse news was to come for Joe.
"He had to have a 10-hour surgery to remove the tumour - this is all before his third birthday," Giffin said. "He had a few complications and had to have radiotherapy, he was under general anaesthetic every day for five weeks.
"Finally he had stem cell therapy because the enormous amount of chemotherapy had destroyed his bone marrow.
"They introduced his own stem cells, which they had harvested, back into his body."
Australia's former vice-captain added: "Stage four, that is essentially pushing them as far as they can go.
"In addition to the treatment being very difficult, what we found hard was the psychological and emotional toll.
Because he had the most aggressive treatment, if he relapsed his chances were pretty much zero."
Kris adds: "Sometimes you feel as though you can't cope with this amount of horror."
But finally, the Giffins were given the news that Joe was as cured as he could be.
"He left the hospital at 3 1/2, and he was 9kg," Giffin said.
"It took him a long time to recover physically - years."
But the great untold story of these cancer battles is how difficult it is for families to readjust, having lived for years on edge.
The emotions that have been busily ignored can come crashing down in one swoop.
"I couldn't leave the house, I was having panic attacks, I had another child to look after," Kris said.
"Entering back into normal life is extremely difficult."
That is when the Giffins discovered the Redkite charity, and are now sharing their personal story to spread the word about the organisation's services.
"Redkite came to my rescue," Kris admitted. "I used Redkite's teleconferencing service and that linked me to other parents.
"They all had a child going through this and were struggling.
"It let me know I wasn't on my own, and that it was going to get better. Redkite aims to get you through together as a family intact.
"A lot of charities support the children - which is absolutely fantastic - but Redkite supports the family.
"It is imperative, you see so many breakdowns of marriages and families through these ordeals.
"You can't explain how stressful it is."
Giffin, working for Commonwealth Bank, is now on the regional council for Redkite.
The couple is now settled on Sydney's north shore with Joe and their other children Samuel, 9, Ella, 5, and Juliet, 2.
"We're the luckiest people in the world," Kris said.
"Now he is an incredibly healthy, loving child."
There is one more heartbreaking element to their tale. Two weeks before Joe was diagnosed, thieves raided the Giffin's Canberra home and among the valuables stolen were videos of baby Joe.
The footage of their boy, pre-cancer, has never been recovered.
But the Giffins prefer to reminisce on better days.
"It was March 15, 2009, Joe's five years was up," Kris said.
"We went to his oncologist's office and he said, 'We now consider Joe cured'.
"I made him say it a few more times. It's the best sentence I've ever heard."
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Every six hours, an Australian under the age of 25 is diagnosed with cancer. Redkite helps them and their families with information, counselling, financial support and education. This year Coles will donate 5c from every loaf of Coles bread sold to Redkite, estimating a donation of $5 million. To make your own contribution click here
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